This is going to be long.. sorry!
I’ve been engaged since September of ’07, and I asked my sister to be my matron of honor. Ever since, she has not been supportive or wanting to really do anything for me for the wedding.
She fought me about getting her dress. I wanted to get it late 2008, she said she wasn’t skinny enough, and she wanted to make sure she looked good next to me. She told me that we didn’t need to get dresses that soon. I told her I needed to pick flowers and colors and she told me no I didn’t and that I could wait longer, so I pushed it back a few months and we went this past Jan. She didn’t even want to buy a dress then! She told me that it wasn’t necessary, but it was because I needed to get her dress so I would have my colors so I could finally do my flowers and invitations. The consultant at the bridal shop basically told her she had to get her dress now or she would never have it on time, so she finally got it, but it was like pulling teeth.
Then her daughter is my flower girl, and she bought a dress that was too big. Well she never wanted to take it back so I ended up having to do it, and now it will barely be back in time for the wedding. And she wants me to go out of my way to pick up the dress when it is ready.
Then I was talking to her about everyone getting to my wedding & I asked her if she would take me and my mom with her so we could all get our hair/makeup done before the wedding & then go to the wedding together. Then her husband could take another car with the kids (so they wouldn’t have to sit through us getting that done) then my fiancé could take a car. Well she told me that this wasn’t an option because "she would be too exhausted to drive home and didn’t want to take two cars." She then told me that I would need to drive and come and get her the morning of the wedding! This would mean that I would have to drive 80 minutes out of my way and get up at 6am to and get her, not to mention my fiancé & I would have to take separate cars and wouldn’t even get to ride home together after becoming husband and wife. I e-mailed her later about this (because when you go against what she wants prepare for battle). She then called me and started to bitch me out how I ruined her wedding (I was 17 and did nothing but what she wanted for her wedding!). And she said really mean hurtful things to me that were totally uncalled for. I told her that she hasn’t acted one bit like she wants to be in my wedding! She then even told me that it was going to be too long of a day for her kids! Even though her kids were just at a party from 3pm-11:30pm.
I am so upset! I’ve been crying all night! I mean am I out of line with the things I am asking of her? I thought the maid of honor was supposed to be there to support you and do things for you. I didn’t think I was being unreasonable. I just don’t understand why she is acting this way. She is almost acting like the bride- she wants done everything her way and wants it to be a convenient for her! But who cares that is an inconvenience to me! I just don’t get it!! She also acts like she wants the whole day to be about her and have her be the center of attention.
I just thought the maid of honor was supposed to do what you wanted- to a certain extent- and try to make things more convenient and less stressful for the bride. For me this has been the opposite- it has been SO stressful and has created even more work for me. And she planned a bridal shower for me, but basically told me that I was having one- so it wouldn’t be a surprise. I just feel like the whole thing is her way or no way even though it’s my wedding!
OH and she’s wanted NOTHING to do with any planning aspects either. No help with picking flowers, invitations, or anything.
I didn’t do anything wrong at her wedding- I was 17- no drinking involved. I guess shes pissed because I didn’t throw her a shower- but I was only 17- no money to through one and she even told me she didnt want one. She tried telling me she changed her whole wedding because I wanted a different color dress- but that’s not what happened at all- i told her i liked one dress better, but i told her it was her wedding. My sister has been known for acting a victim and making things up to seem like she was treated horrible. Drama queen. She does the same things to my mom.
I’ve gotten by with NO input from her about the wedding. My mom has been great with helping me match things and plan other parts of my wedding, and I’ve done a lot of it on my own. My biggest frustration is how shes been acting with the dresses and transportation and being hurtful. She always said that I was great at her wedding and her wedding was wonderful. It wasnt until all this today when she went off on me. I thought I was very supportive of her during her wedding, but with her who knows! Nothing is never enough!