Welcome Guest. Sign in or Signup

25 Answers

Are strippers/hookers common at bachelor parties? Is cheating on your fiance?

Asked by: admin Weddings

I read what people write about their bachelor parties on here and I get worried. I couldn't imagine my fiance going out with the purpose of being turned on by the naked body of a whore, or anything worse. It would kill me inside and I would have trouble feeling the same way for him ever again, and all trust would be lost, something very important for sustaining your relationship….

I do trust him, it's the hoochies who push themselves onto the drunk bachelors and the group of guys pushing him to cheat in celebration of his last single night that I don't trust… way too much pressure from everyone around him.

If the guy has been a faithful loving partner up to this point and is madly in love with their girl, why do his friends expect and push him to cheat? Do strippers usually try to hook up with your man on their night? Has anyone else dealt with this situation, if so how? What makes a guy cheat on this night? How can these hoochies be so disrespectful?

25 Answers

  1. OrangeKitty on Jun 09, 2009

    I totally agree that strippers and hookers are just, plain and simply put, whores.

    If a woman can read and write, then she can get into college (with or without loans and get a respectable job. It makes me angry to think about the girls out there that have a need for dirty old men to look at (and sometimes touch) them.

    Some of my guy friends have had their parties at strip clubs, and even though they might not "want" to participate, guys are influenced by their friends in situations such as this one. My friends that have gone have had lap dance after lap dance and more at their parties. My fiance told his brothers immediately that he wanted no party at all, completely on his own with nothing said from me. He is absolutely wonderful, and I wish that every woman could have a man like him.

    If he did feel the need to go and do something like that, we wouldn't be getting married. Trust issue or not, he wouldn't want the situation reversed on him.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  2. sanbox69 on Jun 09, 2009

    the strippers are for the guests, not the groom-to-be – relax

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  3. sweet p on Jun 09, 2009

    people get what they pay for and pay alot more than money for what they get-just make sure he stays away from the movie part=yet there are some that get hurt by their guy or their past and go the other way which is the worst thing that one could do=Well if u truely love him why not make it real and get married?
    or the option for some is to get paid for what they do-yet it is sad either way=

    Best Answer – Chosen by Asker

    I feel sorry for their choices-Lust with or without money paid is a dead end without a future if true love and commitment to marriage isnt in there.
    "The love of money is the root of all evil" the Bible-not the money but loving it more than doing what is right before God.

    would you desire your future husband and children to have people pointing you out -with a bad reputation for having shacked up with this and that guy?

    I rededicate each part of my body to the Lord each day and pray not to let anyone or thing take my peace and joy away–and there is a song -be careful little eyes what you see, for the father up above is looking down with love, so be careful little eyes what you see

    in Jesus amazing grace that saved me=John 3 repented from sins, asked Jesus in to help me and be my friend, amen Revelation 3:19&20
    I think she was about 20 her name was Andrea or something like that maybe shorter

    I guess i wrote all this to forget a new girl I met a pure Cinderella- today that is an honorable one-with a dear heart-yet I dont got a clue what tomorrow will bring.

    Excellent answer. Upon further thinking i dont feel sorry for them really but some are really in need of help and need the lord like you said. they defile their bodies and will inevitably regret what they're doing.

    prayin for you to make the best choice, David in Jesus amazing grace

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  4. John K on Jun 09, 2009

    To answer your two questions – yes they are common at bachelor parties and yes, many men cheat at the parties.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  5. kja63 on Jun 09, 2009

    No man who claims to be in love with his fiancee would subject himself to a drunken night with strippers. If your fiance insists on having this type of bachelor party, I urge you to rethink the entire marriage idea!

    0 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 1 Votes

  6. sharonsmineonly on Jun 09, 2009

    As far as I know they dont usually have sex with the guys. remember to them its usually work. Granted i too think its disgusting what they do and think its wrong. If he goes to a bachelor party dont worry. Iknow its wrong but most men dont even think of those girls as people. If they did they couldnt treat them the way they do. Most importantly talk to him about it. One thing you dont want is to make him look like a whimp in front of his friends, if thats an issue. Hope everything works out.

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  7. floozy_niki on Jun 09, 2009

    It's a stereotype and a misconception. Bachelor parties are tame affairs, just a night out with the boys at the local disco. If strippers/hookers are involved, you are marrying the wrong type. Get a P.I. to watch them, if it happens, be glad that you got out early.

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  8. tvelez128 on Jun 09, 2009

    if this is how your fiance's friends act, then he's hanging out with the wrong group of guys. and sorry to say, teh bachelor party isn't the first time his friends tried this. my fiance's friends are a bunch of relly good guys that respect themselves, each other, me, and the relationship we have. not all men are dogs. have a talk with your fiance and see what he has planned for the night. if you're uncomfortable with any of his plans, tell him upfront. and if he loves and respects you, he won't do anything to hurt you.

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  9. Kattie O on Jun 09, 2009

    Do what I have done, ask him not to have a bachelor party. We are getting all of our friends together and going out on the river and having a party for all of us. It is completely unnecessary for your man have a bachelor party just because all of his friends want to see a hoochie. Tell them to go on their own time.

    0 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 1 Votes

  10. sasquatch5170 on Jun 09, 2009

    I have been married for 14 years and I did have strippers at my party and yes they turned me on. Are you going to get upset if an actress turns your fiancee on? I think you might want to work on your trust issues. My wife gives me money if I am going out with the guys to a strip club, why? because she's knows I am coming home to her. I did not cheat at my party and I have never cheated on my wife and I go to strip clubs 2 or 3 times a year. Do you trust your fiancee? Then stop worrying about it or don't get married.

    0 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 1 Votes

  11. kys on Jun 09, 2009

    First of all, your putting strippers and hookers as being the same. Not all strippers are whores or hoochies!
    Second, if you trust your fiance, then trust him. If he is the good man you think he is, he will handle the situation properly. A girl dancing exclusively for him is not cheating. A reputable stripper WILL NOT "hook" up with anyone. They are getting paid to do a service. Not all guys cheat on "their night".
    Can anyone lead a horse to water and MAKE it drink? The horse has gotta be thirsty.

    0 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 1 Votes

  12. luckypuff82 on Jun 09, 2009

    1st of all not all of them are hoochies or whores.. There are many women who do it for the $ and the job. Granted there are some who do go beyond the boundries of the job. And when it comes to those yes I would be irritated too..

    No most of the women do not try to hook up with your man.. They are there to do a job that they were requested to do. Just because they take off thier clothes to earn money doesnt mean taht they are also there to have an orgasim or anything to that nature..

    Yes there are some women who well you have it right are whores.. Lets just hope that none attend our guys bachelor parties..

    But you said it.. you trust your guy… and that is all that matters.. He loves you and trusts you too.. And he knows that he is marrying you.. he knows that his vow is to you.. Not anyone else..

    and I can promise you there are more things in life than a stripper that can turn on a man..

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  13. badassp51 on Jun 09, 2009

    I've been to several bachelor parties, most of the time the strippers come with a bodyguard who won't let it get too far out of hand. Relax, let him have fun, you'll have the rest of your life to put him on a leash. I've seen a few guys hook up with the strippers, but never the groom to be, as that is NOT something you want all your buddies to be able to hang over your head. And they will, believe me, they will.

    These "hootchies" and "whores" you refer to are most of the time nice people. Just trying to earn a buck to feed their kids or go to school, cut them a break too.

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  14. Josh T on Jun 09, 2009

    The dancers are for the groom. Thats why it is called a bachelor party. The last night of unmarried life before a brutal divorce.

    As far as the sex goes. Find your fiances best single friend to worry about the stripper if things get out of hand. He would have to be an asshole to fuck a stripper the day before the wedding. Getting a lapdance is one thing but actually sleeping with one… If you're getting married to him you should probably trust him more than that.

    +1 Votes Thumb up 1 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  15. melouofs on Jun 09, 2009

    You sound like you're making a huge deal out of nothing. Those women exist because people want them to…if nobody was paying them, they'd be doing something else…anyway, just because a man sees a stripper does not mean he will cheat with her. That's absurd. My fiance told me the last time he went to one of those parties (before we even met), he kept on his feet and moved around to where they weren't…I'm very liberal, and I wouldn't have cared, so I know he was telling the truth…if he wants to go out with the boys, don't give him grief over it…if you actually do trust him, that means doing so even when he's not in your sight. I would trust my fiance in a bed full of hookers–I trust him, and I know, beyond doubt, he'd never in a zillion years, cheat on me. It isn't his character…hopefully you have the same trust for the man you're about to marry.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  16. octoberbride on Jun 09, 2009

    It's only common for the ppl who are not solely dedicated to his partner.. Something I've seen happen a lot is the husband and wife to be plan the parties together, for instance, for him they plan a guys night of poker, for her they plan a girls night of maybe drinking and dancing, or time at the spa.. Not all friends push them to cheat, real friends don't do that either… I wouldn't worry about it too much if you are certain about your guy, yeah some ppl are very wrong in how they conduct themselves at their parties, but that is up to them, you just got to account for you.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  17. pj m on Jun 09, 2009

    The bachelor party is designed to be the guy’s one last fling at being single. But it’s not designed to allow him to sow his oats (as they say) for one last time. I believe it’s the company he keeps when attending this party and which one of his friends is throwing it for him. A woman and a man who are planning to get married should know their partner’s friends as well as their partner does. It’s a matter of trust, but the drinking part tends to lend a blind eye to trust in many cases.

    During some bachelor parties there are strippers, but I wouldn’t call them whores. Men (Chippendales) do the same thing at bachelorette parties. Is it wrong for them to touch the guy or the guy to touch the stripper? I would say no, but it is wrong to have any kind of sex with that person, which I don’t think happens that often.

    It’s something that should be discussed with you and your fiancé. But be warned, this could lead to a mistrust situation and your man feeling he is being dominated. It’s a time where a man or woman is placed between a rock and a hard place. Just make sure you have someone who you can trust (one of his friends) to keep him and his possibly (drunken horny) mind on his REAL partner in life.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  18. super pablo on Jun 09, 2009

    There are several questions here…
    First of all, I don't believe friends truly expect and push the bachelor to cheat. It is more like the friends want him to have one last moment of wildness before marriage, Its hard to make women understand what I would truly call a "guy thing".

    I think most strippers DONT try to hook up with your man, but certainly they will get them to the limit, cause after all… the more willing your man is .. the more money the stripper will get.
    you know… i must say this answer could really vary depending on the type of crowd each person hangs out with, I certainly feel like if my friends got me some strippers for my bachelor party, they wouldn't allow me to do something I would regret after wards.
    what makes a guy cheat?… well if they cheat, I think it is simply cause of the fact there is a hot naked body teasing you, plus you probably have some alcohol in your system. that's one hard thing to resist, and can make you forget about how deeply you love your fiance for a few moments.
    lastly… The "hoochies" are disrespectful because that's how they will earn their money, and as long as they get paid well for doing it, they will keep doing it!..

    It really all comes down to the personality of your fiance and how much he can be influenced by that kind of thing!…
    good luck!

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  19. frawlicious on Jun 09, 2009

    Strippers are common at bachelor parties. I don't think that they should be. The men do push the groom to have fun it's your last night, but usually it's because they are single themselves. It is the groom's decision though on whether he is going to take it any further. I don't think that the stripper's care on way or the other so it has to be up to the man to say, how far to go.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  20. Rita D on Jun 09, 2009

    I think bachelor parties are a misconception for all. First of all not every bachelor party has to have a stripper. My husband went golfing and for his best friend's wedding he went camping. No strippers and they had a lot of fun. BUT if his friends got him a stripper, doesnt mean they want him to cheat on you. Most strippers come with a body guard so things dont get out of hand.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  21. King of Pythons on Jun 09, 2009

    That's a lot of questions. OK, here goes.

    1. Strippers are not whores. Please refrain from calling them that (or any woman that for that matter).

    2. Strippers are not "hoochies who push themselves onto the drunk bachelors". They are women that entertain men (and other women) by removing their clothing. And they don't have to push; the men want them.

    3. His friends "expect and push him to cheat" as a last fling before he "has to" be faithful.

    4. Strippers do not "try to hook up with your man on their night?". That is what hookers do. And it is the man that is paying these ladies to do this.

    5. A guy cheats on this night because of #3.

    6. How can these hoochies be so disrespectful? See # 2 and # 4

    In other words, you are blaming everyone for this activity except the one person to blame; your fiance. He is a grown man and has the right to say no to any sexual advances that he wants. If he decides to sleep with hookers (or other women) at his bachelor party (or any other time) there is nothing that you can do about it.

    So, here's what you need to do.

    1. Stop degrading women. They didn't do anything to deserve it.

    2. Stop thinking your fiance is blameless in a situation like this; he isn't.

    3. Learn to trust him or call off the wedding. Because if wants to cheat he will. If you don't trust him not to don't marry him.

    Hope this was helpful.

    -2 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 2 Votes

  22. Mandy S on Jun 09, 2009

    Hookers are neither common, nor are they legal. If there are hookers at your husband's bachelor party, trying to get him to cheat on you, and he does, the issue lies with HIM, and you would be well within your rights to leave him holding the bill up at the alter — alone.

    I think the engagement period should set the precedence for the marriage, so I don't consider the bachelor party as a kind of "night off" from a faithful, loving relationship.

    Also, because I think it's important to talk things out AFTER you're married, I think you should talk to your fiancee. Don't be demanding, but simply tell him what your fears are about the bachelor party and what all you've heard. It could very well be that he could say "Honey, all we're doing is going over to (a friend's) house and having a few beers and playing poker." Even if there is a stripper planned, knowing that you're worried about it could be something that really pushes him to behave himself, if for some reason he may have misbehaved before.

    Telling him it worries you is not controlling, possessive, manipulative, demanding, keeping him on a leash, keeping him from having fun, or anything else like that. It is open communication, a cornerstone of a good marriage. If you aren't free to tell your fiancee that something, especially something valid like this, bothers you, then you need to rethink marriage.

    I used to wait tables with a woman who doubled as a stripper. The money was good. That was her ONLY motivation. She actually didn't date often, she NEVER slept with anyone she stripped for, and she said she would have found a way to inform the bride if the fiancee did seriously try to cheat.

    No, cheating is not that common. Most guys I know would not push their friend, on the eve of their wedding, to cheat on the bride. Most guys I know do not view their bachelor party as an opportunity to cheat, guilt-free.

    Quite honestly, if your fiancee or his friends invite a hooker, it is them, not the hooker, who is being disrespectful. To her, it's more about money than it is about sex. Most actual prostitutes will not turn down good money on moral grounds, because their profession, in general, is considered immoral. Honestly, I've never known a guy who would hire a prostitute for their friend on their bachelor night.

    If you trust your fiancee, trust him. Tell him you trust him, but that you're worried. If he's the great guy you believe him to be, he'll keep you in the forefront of his mind that night. Even if he's temporarily entertained by a stripper, he'll come faithfully back to you for the rest of his life.

    However, a lot of guys I know, when faced with the reality that their fiancee is really nervous, don't want to take the chance of hurting her over something they really don't care about — and a lot of guys really don't care about having a stripper at a bachelor party.

    Here are some bachelor parties of people I know:

    My husband — he and his best friend and brother went over to his best friend's house, ordered pizza, and played Ace Combat and watched Star Wars (okay, they're nerds, I'm okay with that LOL)

    One brother-in-law — went to a bar (not stripper bar, just a regular one) and had a few drinks with friends, then had a basketball tournament

    The other brother-in-law — went to a friend's house, did get drunk, but according to the friend's wife, there were no other women there, and they just sat around hanging out and having beers

    My cousin — he and his friends had a poker night

    My best friend's husband — his friend had originally planned for a stripper, but when he realized my friend was nervous about it, they decided against that and instead went to a pro sporting event (which, oddly enough, I think he may have been more excited about………)

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  23. Maggiezine on Jun 09, 2009

    from what I know, with our friends, they just like to go watch the dancers and have lap dances. the friends usually don't pressure the groom to do more than that. if the groom is going to cheat, it's usually because he wants to, not because his friends force him to. so if you trust your guy, I wouldn't worry.

    depending on where you go, the strippers won't try to force themselves on the guys. and even if the guys offer her more money, she usually won't sleep with him. that's prostitution.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  24. Terri on Jun 09, 2009

    WOW, way to generalize about strippers being whores. Not all of them are. Stop judging others like that.

    Noone is "pushing him to cheat", they are looking for one last relaxing night out on the town and watch some attractive girls strip.

    You obviously DO have trust issues if you think he will collapse under all the 'pressure' of his friends and have a one night stand with the strippers.

    You also have trust issues with his friends if you think they'll push him and pressure him to cheat.

    IF your fiance does cheat, then it is not the strippers fault, it is not his friends fault, the fault lies solely on your FIANCE. Don't make him out to be the innocent party in this, if he cheats its because HE wants to.

    I trust my fiance totally. I know he is not going to go off and have one night stands with anyone. The ring is on MY finger, not any of the girls he might be seeing stripping in front of him. If his friends want strippers there, then so be it.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

  25. Lydia on Jun 09, 2009

    It's not the girls who are the disrespectful ones – it's the guys who PUT THEMSELVES in the position. A mature guy pretty much doesn't go for this old cliche of a bachelor party with strippers, etc. Usually it's a bunch of dudes who get together to play poker, golf, etc. just to talk and have a few drinks.

    0 Votes Thumb up 0 Votes Thumb down 0 Votes

Answer Question