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15 Answers

Who should pay for a bridal shower?

Asked by: admin Weddings

My brother is getting married. My husband, myself and my three young children are all in the bridal party. We have incurred a lot of expense purchasing dresses, shoes, tux’s etc, not to mention gifts and other expenses associated with the wedding day. The sister of the bride is planning a shower at a restaurant and has now asked all the girls in the bridal party to pitch in towards the cost. Is this proper etiquette? I always thought the bride’s family paid for the shower.

15 Answers



  1. Proud to be 51 on Jan 29, 2010

    When I got married, my maid of honor threw me a bridal shower tea at a beautiful tea house. She paid for the whole thing herself (close to $300). When another friend of mine got married and I was her matron of honor, I threw her shower at a restaurant, and while others offered to help, I paid for the whole thing myself ($250). It’s just something you do when you’re the maid/matron of honor. Expecting someone else to chip-in without them offering first, is just wrong. Let this lady know that you are unable to contribute due to your entire family being in the wedding. She should be able to understand that! Good luck.

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  2. scarlett13854 on Jan 29, 2010

    its usally the bridal party but can be the mothers

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  3. CctbOh on Jan 29, 2010

    The maid of honor and bridesmaids should pay and throw the party.

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  4. Starla_C on Jan 29, 2010

    The bridal party typically pays for the shower.

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  5. Eyes of Green on Jan 29, 2010

    All female members of the bridal party pay for the shower!

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  6. Jessica on Jan 29, 2010

    Traditional Breakdown of Expenses

    The Bride’s Family – Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories, Bridesmaid Bouquets, Ceremony/Reception Flowers, Altar BAskets/ARches, Canopy/Carpet, Kneeling Bench/Candleabrahs, Rented Items for Wedding & Reception, Invitations/Announcements, WEdding Programs, Napkins/Matches/Printed Items, Church fee, Musician/Soloist, Janitor, Reception Hall Fee, catering and professional services, photography, orchestra/band/dj, wedding cake, favors, rice bags, wedding breakfast, bridal brunch, Family Formal Wear, Accommodations for out-of town guests

    The Bride – Wedding Ring for Groom, Wedding Gift for Groom, Bridesmaid Gifts, Medical visit for Bride, Bridesmaid Luncheon

    The Groom’s Family – Groom’s cake, rehearsal dinner, Family formal wear

    The Groom – Wedding Ring for Bride, Wedding Gift for Bride, Groomsmen/Usher Gifts, Bride’s Bouquet, Mother’s Corsages, Grandmother Corsages, Groom’s Boutonniere, Groomsmen Boutonnieres, Marriage License, Medical visit for Groom, Clergyman/Officiant Fee, Accessories for Attendants, limousine, honeymoon

    Maid-of-Honor – Bridal Shower, Formal Wear

    Best Man – Bachelor Party, Gown

    Bridesmaids – Gowns

    Grooms/Ushers – Formal Wear

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  7. Evie on Jan 29, 2010

    The shower is typically paid for by the maid of honor as she plans it. If someone is planning a shower they should be paying for it. It is pretty messed up to ask people to come and bring gifts and help pay for it. Why does it need to be at a restaurant? I know I wouldn’t be able to do that for my brothers wedding. Everything else adds up. I would either say no or not go to the shower. You could explain your reasoning to the bride later.

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  8. BaDonkaDonk on Jan 29, 2010

    That is open ended.
    The Brides father is to pay for the wedding,not the showers.That should be up to the person giving them.

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  9. Brandy on Jan 29, 2010

    Kim there is NO WAY I would have agreed to have my entire family in anyone’s wedding party – that is way too many expenses – bless your heart. But sadly I have to inform you that the Maid/Matron of Honor is required to put on both the shower AND bachelorette party with each of the bridesmaids chipping in. The parents of the bride "traditionally" pay for the wedding, but in this day and age brides tend to be older (I’m 36 and just getting married for the first time) so they usually pay for their own wedding. But again, if you are an attendant in the wedding party, it is your responsibility to help with the shower. Good luck and God love you.

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  10. tallgirl on Jan 29, 2010

    Actually whoever decides to throw the bridal shower for the future bride is responsible for paying for it. Thats part of taking on the responsibilty of hosting a party for someone.

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  11. Nurse on Jan 29, 2010

    In all fairness, I do not agree with the fact that just because you were chosen to be in the bridal party you should incur all the costs. My gosh, it’s the bride’s wish so whomever is giving her the wedding of her dreams should pay for the dresses and the shoes and all that. Unless you really want to and that’s nice. Seeing as you get to keep the dress and the shoes, might be an excuse to make you pay, and still… I hate when somebody is just telling me what to do with my money and stuff, don’t you? I like telling my money where to go instead of wondering where they went. You work hard for the money, how you spend it should be entirely at your discretion not what ‘etiquette’ says you need to do. And lastly, if the bride has asked her sister to give her a bridal shower, then yeah, her family should pitch in, but if it was her idea, then she should support all the costs. After all she will get the recognition for it, all who pitched in will be secondary, just picture it. So she gets to take a bow on your sweat. She has no right ot ask you to pitch in, you may offer though, but I think you’ve already done enough and besides you’re bringing more gifts, aren’t you?
    Plus, if she makes you pay and you don’t agree with her restaurant of choice, then what? You’ll be forever holding a grudge?? I dislike spoiling attitudes. You are right, the bride’s family should pay. After all they brought her up like this… haha

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  12. cardgirl2 on Jan 29, 2010

    It is paid for by the bride’s mother and father. It can also be partially paid for by the bridal party too.

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  13. Pink Denial on Jan 29, 2010

    Yes, that is proper ettiquette for her to ask you to pitch in. The family only pays for the shower if they are hosting it. But, it is also appropriate for you to tell her that you can’t contribute, or that you can’t contribute much. To compensate, offer to make the favors or come up with the games or something.

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  14. KitKat on Jan 29, 2010

    The maid of honor usually pays but it’s OK for her to ask others to chip in.

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  15. nanny on Jan 29, 2010

    Whoever is throwing it -

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