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If his parents only pay for the rehearsal dinner, should they be on the wedding invitations?

Asked by: admin Wedding Invitations

If his parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, and only the rehearsal dinner, should I put them on the wedding invitations? Also, I don’t know if my parents or his parents will end up paying for things later, but as of right now we are footing the wedding by ourselves. Should we put parents on the invites? I don’t want to make them feel excluded or anything.

50 Answers



  1. UNITool on Dec 02, 2010

    It’s your wedding, you can put whatever you want to on the invitations.

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  2. unknown on Dec 02, 2010

    of course they should be invited….are you serious?

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  3. peter b on Dec 02, 2010

    yes every little bit counts.

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  4. Taylor G on Dec 02, 2010

    It is the BRIDE’s parents who are traditionally responsible for the wedding costs, not the groom. Shame on you.

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  5. CctbOh on Dec 02, 2010

    Most people inclue the parents names on the invitations. The grooms parents are supposed to pay for the booze at the wedding also.

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  6. triteamdan on Dec 02, 2010

    That’s what they are supposed to pay for! Get an etiquette book. We got one before our wedding and it was a big help.

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  7. BrendaWise on Dec 02, 2010

    You don’t really want to be mean do you?

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  8. dymond on Dec 02, 2010

    yes, you should put them both on the invitation or else don’t put either set of parents on

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  9. STK FLKR on Dec 02, 2010

    They pay for dinner plus alcohol at reception if there is any. And if they pay for anything you had better include them in on the invites. Or it could be a very long marriage for you untill they die off.

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  10. Ms. V on Dec 02, 2010

    Ask both sets of parents how they feel about this. One thing for sure, you don’t want to exclude one set of parents. What you do for one set you should also do for the other set.

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  11. Jinkies on Dec 02, 2010

    that sounds rediculous to me..aren’t both parents on the invitation regardless? i didnt know it boiled down to money i guess i’m a square.

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  12. silverearth1 on Dec 02, 2010

    that would be a good thng cleared before the wedding !
    Yes they sould be on the Wedding invites!

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  13. J.P. on Dec 02, 2010

    likee what do u maen
    put their
    isn’t like wedding invitations just out you and your husband’s name
    and when’s the weddding and ect..

    so his side is not paying for the wedding at all??
    oh WOW

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  14. katie on Dec 02, 2010

    If you want to start things off on a good foot then definatly put them on there or else your gonna have to answer to his mom they are paying for rehearsal dinner so it isnt like there not doing anything and as you said you never know they might chip in later so just put there name on there and make everyone happy it doesnt hurt to be nice to the future inlaws

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  15. ogrulesyou on Dec 02, 2010

    Would it hurt to put them on the invites? Probably not. You can do it as a sign of how much you respect them.

    Ultimately, you need to decide if not putting them on the invitations would cause friction in the future.

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  16. michael_trussell on Dec 02, 2010

    Yes put them on the invitations. Congratulations on your impending marriage. I wish you many happy years of marriage.

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  17. nuttin'fancy on Dec 02, 2010

    Absolutely, you both would want your parents at your wedding.

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  18. Sphere on Dec 02, 2010

    Traditionally, the brides parents pay for the wedding. The Groom’s parents can pay for the rehersal dinner. And yes, you do put both sets of parents name’s on the invites.
    If both of you are already living together etc… as a couple, I don’t think the parents are obligated to foot the bill for anything.
    Unless they want to. Consult a wedding planner.

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  19. notyou311 on Dec 02, 2010

    Yes, they should. It is traditional.

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  20. Tiny Leprechaun on Dec 02, 2010

    It doesn’t hurt to put both set of parents on the invites. My finacee and I are also footing the majority of the bills ourselves (though my parents are helping more than his are as mine are a little more financially stable) but we are still putting both sets of parents on the invites as a token of respect for all they’ve done and mean in our lives.

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  21. Lucid Dreamer on Dec 02, 2010

    If you are putting any parents on the invitations, you need to put both sets on. Otherwise, you can just put yourselves on them. Check out theknot.com for some good ideas for phrasing on how to do this.

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  22. Adina B on Dec 02, 2010

    I think it depends on how traditional you and your fiance and your parents are. I’ve seen parents listed on the wedding invitations simply because they want the joy of announcing their child’s upcoming marriage.

    I think you and your fiance should talk to your parents, see what is ok with them. I know I wouldnt want to start my marriage with my in laws hating me.

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  23. jmiller on Dec 02, 2010

    Are you serious? Where did you ever get the idea that you were entitled to have everyone else pay for your wedding? You really should have taken some etiquette classes, or at least bought a book on it.
    I suggest you do that right away, before you really mess things up.

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  24. debbieschwencke on Dec 02, 2010

    Why dont you ask them? No one knows anothers financial situation but with something like this…….I’ll bet your fiance talking with his parents and you talking with yours will help. KEEP it NON THREATENING and nice. No problems with anything. YOU TWO then pay for whatever is left unclaimed. ALL parents then go on the invitation. NO ONE should be excluded just because they are not in a financial position to pay half!

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  25. g g on Dec 02, 2010

    Yes, put them on. Why would you not? His parents should ONLY pay for that rehearsal dinner. That is how it is done. But they don’t even have to do that. And with your attitude, I bet they are just tollerating you because their son loves you.
    If you are going to be so petty and mean spirited, I bet you’ll be an interesting wife.

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  26. Shaman on Dec 02, 2010

    You’re vindictive and passive-aggressive.

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  27. Jen on Dec 02, 2010

    Try wording it this way:

    Jane Elizabeth Doe,
    Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

    and

    Kevin Smith
    Son of Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Smith

    Invite you…..

    That way YOU are inviting people, not your parents.

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  28. Bill on Dec 02, 2010

    I wouldn’t put them on the invites. As the couple, you should announce it yourselves.

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  29. BrewMan on Dec 02, 2010

    If they haven’t come forward to pay for anything it still does not matter. Both sets of parents should go on the wedding invitations. I went through the exact same thing. I decided to be the bigger person and not stir up even more trouble.

    Neither set of parents paid for very much, but our wedding still had class behind it.

    Focus on the wedding and forget these idiotic events that lead up to it. You are going to have a wonderful time. Do not let others ruin it for you.

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  30. rukidding on Dec 02, 2010

    You can do whatever you want with your invitations. It is traditional, however, that his parents pay only for the rehearsal dinner.

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  31. LoneStarLou on Dec 02, 2010

    I’ve been doing weddings for 15 years. Traditionally the grooms parents pay for the rehersal dinner. No matter what the parents pay or don’t pay for their names usually go on the invitation…

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  32. annmarie on Dec 02, 2010

    I was going to answer a lot of things here but I don’t know where to start.

    Good luck with your first wedding, hope you get it right next time.

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  33. ccanezaro on Dec 02, 2010

    Sounds like you have a rough start with your soon to be in-laws. Well, I have been married for 15 years and I can tell you that my mother and father in-law didn’t pay for a single dime of our wedding. I can say that once you get married, the wedding will be "so last week" and you won’t care. Don’t start off on a bad foot with your in-laws because your marriage will be hard enough to deal with without bad blood between you and them. Just put them on the invitation and smile. Enjoy your day without that stress. You will eventually regret not putting them on the invitation.

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  34. speedy_me18 on Dec 02, 2010

    For my wedding we put my parents, who are divorced, and my husbands parents, which his mom lives in Texas (we live in Wisconsin) and she didn’t come anyway, and my husband’s dad passed away a few years ago, and we paid for the whole wedding ourselves-we put all of them on the invitations. But it’s totally up to you, I’ve seen invites which just stated your name and your soon to be husband’s name wish for you to join them to celebrate the joining of their lives together. Something like that. It’s totally up to you and your husband.

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  35. kiera70 on Dec 02, 2010

    Traditionally, the man’s parents pay for the rehersal dinner and the flowers. They are doing at least part of that so, I would say yes.
    From a more realistic point of view, you don’t have much choice. These are his parents, after all and both bride and groom will need to at least try to have a good relationship with them. If they feel slighted from the get go, there will be alot more problems.

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  36. Kitty Kat on Dec 02, 2010

    Regardless of what is paid by whom, both your parents should be put on the invitations.. They are your parents not your financial private bank….

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  37. StarGalactica on Dec 02, 2010

    Yes, you should put them on the invitations. Parents always want to have an invitation for a keepsake and because it is a precious time in the lives of their children. I applaud you for paying for the wedding yourself. Traditionally, the bridegroom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner the the bride’s family pays for the wedding itself. Since you don’t know what either party is going to put into the wedding I would suggest that you sit down with them individually and discuss it with them along with your plans. Then you can better prepare a budget and know what you can afford for a honeymoon.

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  38. melouofs on Dec 02, 2010

    You do realize you are joining his family. Regardless of who pays for what, if one set of parents names is on the invitations, both sets must be. This event is as important to his family as it is to yours, you know.

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  39. Aidan D on Dec 02, 2010

    It is the bride’s parents who are traditionally responsible for the wedding costs. but if you think different it’s up to you (personally i wouldn’t) :P

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  40. NSnoekums on Dec 02, 2010

    According to the ettiquette books, the grooms parents are responsible for the rehearsal dinner. About the invites, they are still his parents whether they pay for the dinner or not; therefore, it would be the correct thing to do.

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  41. mamabear on Dec 02, 2010

    If you are having a formal wedding with a rehersal dinner, you invite all of your parents–whether or not they are paying for any part of the wedding.

    Weddings can be very expensive, and not everyone can afford to pay a lot into them–as much as they might want to. A lot of brides and grooms are paying by themselves–they still invite their parents.

    Like you said, you may be getting large wedding gifts from them later–how much money do you want them to dish out?

    As for the guy’s parents paying for the rehersal dinner–that’s very nice of them. Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for everything–if they couldn’t the couple eloped.

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  42. Gena on Dec 02, 2010

    Well usually the father has to give the bride away. So, that’s a given unless someone else is giving you away. Also the parents aren’t supposed to just be invited to the wedding, they are a part of the wedding party. They are to sit in the front, right behind the bride and groom standing at the altar. If you’ve already moved out of your parent’s house and living on your own, then it is up to your and your fiance’ to finance your wedding. The reason that parents used to pay for the wedding was because the future bride and groom still lived at home with the parents. So, the parents would pay for the wedding and the future bride and groom would save for their home together.

    But your parents bought you into this world, so if they are not going to be a part of the wedding, they should at least be invited.

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  43. Eldude on Dec 02, 2010

    Tradition and custom are that the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner. Whereas the brides family pays for the wedding and reception. However, this custom comes from a simpler and easier time. Today there is too much extravagance in a weak attempt to be romantic and for a event to be remembered.

    Fall back, regroup and remember "K-I-S-S" meaning "Keep It Short & Simple"

    Excluding the grooms family is not a cool way to start out Wedded Bliss……you eliminate them and I will give your marrage 3 years tops.

    Don’t be a Anal and Selfish Bride!

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  44. shilo9i on Dec 02, 2010

    If you don’t they might be upset. If you do include them they will be happy, and it doesn’t cost you anything. The answer seems pretty clear to me…

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  45. SoontobeWatsons on Dec 02, 2010

    May opinion is that they are somewhat helping out so they should get an invite. they are showing that they do support your decisions by helping you out by paying for the rehearsal dinner. sometimes they may seem like they are not supporting your decision but they do show that they care by helping with a smudge of the wedding. If it were for me to decide I would invite my parents either way.

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  46. Dumb Dave on Dec 02, 2010

    Who is paying for what doesn’t really make any difference. You invitations can simply say that " His name & Your name cordially invite you to join them on the occasion of their wedding" or whatever. You can add parents names if you wish. Or Not. Traditionally the Grooms parents pay for the wedding rehersal dinner. Brides parents pay for the Wedding. Unfortuniately sometimes they can’t always do this depending on their circumstances and they shouldn’t be punished or made to feel less of themselves because of it. Use your best judgement and don’t start your marrage out with problems because of inconsaquencal issues that may come back to haunt you. Don’t add one set of parents without adding the other.

    Enjoy your life and congratulations.

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  47. Pamela B on Dec 02, 2010

    Do you really want to start out your new life on this incredibly petty foot? Wow. Does your groom know this side of you?

    I agree about getting an ettiquette book to help set you straight, but my, my, my … this is your future family. Get back in touch with your heart, not your wallet.

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  48. yocum1219 on Dec 02, 2010

    It’s tradition to put the parents of "Joe" and the parents of "Mary" invite you to attend their wedding. It doesn’t matter who pays for what. Tradition also states that the groom’s parents cover rehearsal, and that’s it. Bride’s parents get the rest. Think about any sons you may have. Would you want their future wife to exclude you because you could only afford to cover rehearsal? It’s their child too. Include them. If you’re determining who to include based on what they can pay….then you may not be mature enough to get married anyway. Tradition may state that parents pay for weddings, but anymore, people do it on their own. If you need to wait a year to better afford it, then do so. Your relationship will hold out. If it doesn’t, then it’s a good thing you waited and saved yourself the trouble of a divorce.

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  49. Kate on Dec 02, 2010

    Yes, you should put them on the wedding invitations – regardless of what they’re paying for or who’s paying for what.
    Traditionally, the brides parents pay for the wedding, and the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and drinks, but if you and your guy are possibly footing the bill for the wedding itself, would you want to leave YOUR parents off the invites ?

    You’re only going to do this once, so put them all on and avoid future problems. At least in the end, you will know that you did the right thing.

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  50. SAINT G on Dec 02, 2010

    its all about the money to you people isnt it. traditionally? dont quote that crap. times have changed, the church doesnt rule the wedding circuit anymore. move on and think for yourselves.

    invite the people who love you both. dont base it on donations, bribes, luxury gifts and promises. look for the worthy.

    weddings are about bonding in love, witnessed by those you both love. not about the mercedes you were gifted or the 100,000 spent on you.

    a little reality here folks.

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