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34 Answers

Whos name should be on wedding invitations?

Asked by: admin Wedding Invitations

So I am planning on spending 12,000 on my wedding

My parents are paying for 4000 (mom & Stepdad)
My dad is paying 1000
My fiances parents are paing for about 2000 rehersal dinner and alchol
And we are paying for the rest so about 5000

Whose names should be on the wedding invitation?

Thanks for the help.

34 Answers



  1. Charity S on Feb 12, 2011

    If it doesn’t look to tacky include your step fathers name. I would rather have an inclusive wedding invitation.

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  2. guess on Feb 12, 2011

    Parents. your in laws. and bride and groom , of course…never live out both parents!!

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  3. Violet Pearl on Feb 12, 2011

    The money spent doesn’t guarantee a listing on the invite. I think I’d go with:
    Jane and John,
    together with their parents
    invite you to their wedding

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  4. angle2005star on Feb 12, 2011

    Everybody who help with the wedding

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  5. Tanya on Feb 12, 2011

    If you go check out http://www.theknot.com you can find that answer and more to your questions. I found it to be a really really really great tool for planning my wedding. Congratulations sweetie!

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  6. Belinda P on Feb 12, 2011

    I agree with Violet Pearl. Jane Doe and John Smith, together with their parents announce….
    Money should have nothing to do with it.

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  7. skip s on Feb 12, 2011

    first figure out how many you can invite total with that budget….

    Second all of your friends should be first(the ones you want to come, not ones you think you have to invite)

    Third however many there are left…whether it be 100 or 50 ask both sets of parents to send you a list of who they want. If the total between the two is too big tell them to cut it by however many they need to. You dont have to be strict on how many each set gets , but dont let one group of parents go overboard.

    I recently got married sept 1. My wife and I invited about 80 of our freinds. My wifes parents invited about 80 and my mom sent me a list of 300 people. I made her cut the list to about 150-200. We sent the invitations out around 50% of the people came anyway…So good luck. dont be so rigid in your decision, but dont let the parents get away with more than they can……Remember its not just you getting married ,,, your families are getting married as well

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  8. Bodieann on Feb 12, 2011

    Traditionally its the brides parents… But nowadays I’m sure you can put whatever, it doesn’t matter really.

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  9. Night Wind on Feb 12, 2011

    It depends on what you want. If you don’t want to hurt any feelings, then you can include everyone since everyone is contributing to the wedding. The rehersal dinner doesn’t count though. But if they are providing the alcohol for the wedding, that is a HUGE expense. So, Your mom, your biological dad, and the grooms parents, Mr. and Mrs. whom ever, request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter "whom ever" to "whom ever". However, I wouldn’t list your step dad. I’m sure he would understand this if you have a good relationship with him. After all, it’s your biological parents that are giving you away. It’s not really up to him. Otherwise you can be very traditional and put your biological parents names only on the invites. Good luck whatever you decide!

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  10. sunbunny06 on Feb 12, 2011

    Congradulations to you!! So, you are planning your wedding, first since your parents, (step parents included) and the grooms parents are chipping in as well, Traditionally the parents are to be included on the invite. It would be different if you and your goom-to-be were paying for the entire wedding (rehearsal dinner) yourselves. I recently married thispast July. Planned our entire wedding under $7,000.00 less than 80 people, and very intimate, and romantic! IF you need help go to Martha Stewart.com – there are a lot of Brides to be, asking all sorts of questions!
    Extremely helpfull site! Awesome Ideas!!

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  11. graduate student on Feb 12, 2011

    To solve this problem I would just put your and your grooms names first on the invitation:

    Your name
    Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. so and so (current marriage),
    Mr. your biological father
    and grooms name
    Son of Mr. and Mrs. so and so
    Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their marriage at….yada yada

    But I would probably check an etiquett book to confirm.

    Or you and just have your name and your grooms name:

    your name and grooms name
    request the honor of your presence to witness their marriage
    on sunday…yada yada

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  12. Mrs. D on Feb 12, 2011

    all the parents for they are putting up the most amount of money:

    SUCH AS

    MR. and MRS ALEXANDER SMITH
    AND
    MR. and MRS CLARK
    REQUEST THE HONOR OF YOUR PRESENCE
    AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR CHILDREN
    MISS CAROL ANN SMITH
    to
    MR. WILLIAM JAMES CLARK

    this may help you and just one other thing pick up the book called THE VERY BEST WEDDING PLANNING GUIDE by WEDDINGSOLUTIONS.COM

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  13. chrisjcorbett on Feb 12, 2011

    Who’s getting married?

    Bride and Groom names (Bride guest)
    Groom and Bride (Groom guest)

    Then at the reception honor your parents.

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  14. venny v on Feb 12, 2011

    your friends and your collega

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  15. mexibettyboop on Feb 12, 2011

    you could try
    the smiths and the johns request the honor of your presence type of thing

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  16. Trixie on Feb 12, 2011

    It should be worded like this:

    Together with their parents,
    <Bride’s Name>
    and
    <Groom’s Name>
    request the honor of your presence
    etc.

    Together with parents should come first not second, When saying "together with" in the secondary position it should be any children couple may have.

    If you prefer to NAME them individually on the invitations, then it would be done like this:

    Mr. and Mrs <your mom and stepdad’s last name>
    and
    Mr. <your dad’s last name>
    Request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    <Bride’s Name>
    to
    <Groom’s Name>
    son of
    Mr and Mrs <Groom’s Parents last name>
    etc.

    Congrats on your engagement, if you need futher assistance feel free to email me and I will assist you the best I can.

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  17. WENDY G on Feb 12, 2011

    I don’t see why who pays how much should be a factor. They are all yours and your mans parents. They should all go on it! Based on who pays what is petty!

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  18. Kelly T on Feb 12, 2011

    I just made invitations for a wedding where the groom and 2 sets of parents and this is what we did.

    Billy Ray Jackson
    &
    Karen Joy Demers

    Along With Their Parents
    Request The Honor of Your Presence
    As
    they Are United in Holy Matrimony
    on the Thirtieth day of September in the year 2006
    At the ashkum Colluseum in
    Askum illinois

    That is just an example or you coulds also do it like this

    Bob and Kathy Beck and Robin and JosephKirangwa
    Along with
    Thomas and Rita Tuntland
    request the honor of your presence as
    their Children
    Kelly Elizabeth Beck
    &
    Jason Thomas Tuntland
    unite in marraige
    on the twenty-fourth day of June
    in the year two thousond six
    at College Church of the Nazarene
    in Bourbonnais,, illinois

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  19. kittyrogers on Feb 12, 2011

    Huh? Dear, you sound consumed with the monetary aspect of this whole thing. Anyway, you don’t put one on and leave one off if one is paying more than the other. I think you need some maturity PRIOR to getting married, because again, you sound CONSUMED with the monetary aspect. Your invitation can say ANYTHING you want it to, however, if you omit a parent (yours or his), there is bound to be trouble! WENDYG makes a good point, too!

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  20. Fun Lovin' Girl on Feb 12, 2011

    Several options, but the most traditional is

    John and Susan Smith
    cordially invite you to attend
    the wedding of their daughter
    Samantha Marie
    to
    Jeffery Livingston,
    son of Jack and Annie Livingston
    on the 13th day of November 2007
    Blah, blah, blah.

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  21. Autumn Sunset on Feb 12, 2011

    We did our own invitations and we started with, "Together with their families," – this is great because it covers everyone without having to name countless names – and in our case, even my grandparents were helping out – so this covers all the bases and is simply great.

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  22. Black Kat on Feb 12, 2011

    It will be too many names to put all those on an invitation. How about " The Families of John Doe and Jane Doe" request the honor of your presence?

    Who is paying what does not matter.

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  23. Ashlie on Feb 12, 2011

    You have a few options here
    you could say
    Mr. and Mrs stepdad
    mr. Dad
    Mr. and Mrs fiances dad
    request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children
    you
    and
    groom

    or you could do this way simpler, and if it doesn’t piss anybody off, I would personally do it this way,

    together with their parents,
    bride
    and
    Groom
    request the honor of your presence at their marriage
    blah
    blah
    blah

    hope this helps! good luck and congrats!

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  24. chowdary c on Feb 12, 2011

    ask u r heart about it

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  25. parsonsel on Feb 12, 2011

    Mr. and Mrs. bride’s mom and stepdad
    and
    Mr. bride’s father
    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter "insert name"
    to "insert name" son of
    Mr. and Mrs. groom’s parents

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  26. demure_kitten on Feb 12, 2011

    Our family helped pay for our wedding also, but my husband and I chose to have our own names on the invites. I also was not given away, I chose to walk into the marriage of my own free will.

    It’s really up to you and your fiance, everyone’s situation is different.

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  27. iwannavwbeetle on Feb 12, 2011

    Here is what I did and the problem I had. My parents are divorced, my mom put some money in and my dad put some in (not as much as my mom) and the inlaws bought about 3 bottles of alcohol. I (we) paid for the rest. We had our wedding on one weekend and the reception on the next. I only put my parents names on the wedding invitation and put both on the reception invitation and my inlaws got very upset because I didn’t put their names on the wedding invitations, but they didn’t even want to help with what little they did. I guess if they are all helping out you could put all of the names.
    I hope this helps a little.

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  28. Christabelle on Feb 12, 2011

    It should announce that you (daughter of your mom and dad) are getting married to him (son of his mom and dad). Your stepfather’s name really wouldn’t be on the invitation typically. Unless he raised you and you had little contact with your dad then you could do it different. But be careful about going overboard on the names or it’ll sound like a corporate sponsored event. Good luck.

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  29. bluearia on Feb 12, 2011

    Since that really seems like a lot of names to go on an invitation, why don’t you use something like this (it’s what I used):

    Because you have shared in our lives by your friendship and love, we Jane Smith and John Doe together with our parents invite you to share the beginning of our new life together when we exchange marriage vows….(Insert Date, and location) Reception to be held at (time and location)

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  30. pinkdenial on Feb 12, 2011

    First, and this is the most important…the "hosts" on the wedding invitation do NOT reflect who spent the most amount of money. The names on the invitation reflect who you want to honor.

    When people see an invitation, they don’t assume that the person whose name is at the top was the person who funded most of the wedding. That said, when people see an invitation that says the couple are hosting, they tend to think that the families didn’t help them at all.

    In my experience, this is the best way to word the invitation without insulting anybody:

    Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Mother and Stepdad
    and Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Father and Stepmother
    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    BRIDE
    to
    GROOM,
    son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s parents

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  31. debrah_marie on Feb 12, 2011

    I would have it read

    Jane Doe
    and
    John Smith
    along with their parents
    invite you

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  32. abbya11111 on Feb 12, 2011

    My mom and stepdad are paying for ALL of my wedding (destination wedding and reception back home) and my mom told me she would NEVER expect the invitation to have just their names on it, as it is disrespectful to my fiance’s parents. No matter who is paying for what, you need to include all of your parents. The simplest way to do this is to say

    Together with their parents
    Bride & Groom
    request the honour of your presence….

    or even Togther with their families

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  33. melodi_jean_99 on Feb 12, 2011

    We have the same thing – 3 sets of parents that are helping, some a little more financially than others. But we are just going with

    Join Bride and Groom
    together with their parents
    as they will be pronounced husband and wife on….

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  34. Etiquette Gal on Feb 12, 2011

    It sounds like all the parents are part of the hosting "team." They can legitimately all appear.

    It is not an itemization of expenses. It is an invitation.

    The etiquette is: bride’s family goes first, and mothers go first, REGARDLESS OF WHO PAID WHAT AMOUNT. So for your situation:

    Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Bridesmomandstepdad
    Mr. Jacob Bridesfather
    Mr. and Mrs. David Groomsparents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the wedding of
    Julie Marie Brideslastname
    and
    Frederick John Groomslastname
    etc

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